#13 - bleood - "ooo" / yuke - "ian goin"
REPORT: ‘Symphony of Shrill’ Strains the Bounds of Listenability In Paradigm-Shifting Survey
Abstract: This experiment seeks to determine the material health consequences of the human ear canal, or the external auditory meatus (E.A.M. Triplin), when breached by music at the outer reaches of listenability. Patients were subjected to two symphonies of shrill, bleood’s “ooo” and yuke’s “ian goin,” produced by zai and karakuli, respectively. The former has been described by award-winning music journalists as a “tantalizing orgy-orchestra of bleeps, tweeps, and shrieks,” while the latter has been called the “logical excruciating endpoint of the ‘terror plugg’ style,” in which the 808s “cry like feral lemurs.” By forcing the subjects to listen to these songs on repeat while they are under captivity in remote observation, we hoped to see a Darwinian survival-of-the-fittest evolution take place in live-time.
Lack of data on the subject has led this paper to be named a Fulbright Scholar “Pioneering Study” of 2024.
General Enjoyability
‘Absolutely gas!’ 11% of respondents
‘Texturally intriguing but not replayable’ 39% of respondents
‘No opinion one way or the other’ 1% of respondents
‘Failed to make an agreeable impression’ 29% of respondents
‘Total dog diarrhea’ 20% of respondents
Hearing Damage
No loss detected: 28% of respondents
-0.1-1.0dB loss: 51% of respondents
1.1-dB+ loss: 25% of respondents
Complete deafness: 6% of respondents
Free Response Section (select, anonymous answers shown)
“There’s something delightfully Proustian about the crinkly, mutilated bird-cries of bleood’s beat.”
“im like not trinyng to draw sympathy, but ‘ian goin’ brought me bac to a terrible time in my life when i got run over by a tractor and my ruptured ears were bleedin and shit, so im gonna sue u”
“I’m Mainly Filling This Out Because They Said I’d Get A Free Amazon Prime Gift Card”
“This stuff is cool, Im gonna show my son when he gets back from Mormon camp!”
Our survey was conducted with 564 humans and 1 snow camel on September 13, 2024, in Yakutsk City Hall, as part of an effort to warm up those cold Siberians. The methodology included base weighting for percentages of telephone numbers and Discord handles sampled in the stratum. More research is needed to accurately determine the effects of music.
The list: