I’ve been a nasty girl, I whisper to my therapist as I join our weekly video call.
“Hmm, okay!” they reply in the Zoom chat (their camera is always off because they lack self-confidence). “I’m glad you’ve overcome the dry streak you kept talking about.”
Will you match my freak? I ask, coquettishly.
“Ha Ha, I don’t think that’s super professional,” they type, with a “:P” emoji at the end.
Pillow talking got my throat raspy, I continue.
“Maybe you need a softer fill!” they say.
I got stamina, they say I’m an athlete.
“Oh, you’re running again? That’s a great way to stave off seasonal depression.”
If you do it too good, I’m gonna get attached.
“Ah yes, the scientific term for that is transference, we can’t—”
‘Cause it feels like heaven when it hurts so bad.
They type for a second. Pause. Type again.
…
“Hey, Stockholm syndrome is real. You’re valid! If there’s something painful going on in your life, the patient-therapist confidentiality agreement doesn’t cover that, and you need to tell me.”
No, you DUMBASS, I snort, I’m just reciting the lyrics to Tinashe’s hit single “Nasty,” a sultry slow-glide of a tune that revels in the heady glow of abandoning your inhibitions. Even more electric is Jane Remover’s “Match My Tweak” remix, which sounds more suited for bopping uncontrollably than sensual grinding. My God, I’m listening to it right now—you can’t hear it because I’m wearing tiny AirPods—and I think it’s solved my depression! Bye!!!!!!!
The list:
#13 - bleood - “ooo” / yuke - “ian goin”
LOL